eh~~~很久没有来这里blog liao，不懂做么，好像有很多东西想抒发，却无从宣泄？！

首先就是我的assignment + presentation
我的socialization , effective comm, 还有 marketing 的presentation居然排在同一个礼拜！！
搞到我没有办法专心做准备……那个礼拜我没有睡到觉咯……哈哈
不过这个还不是最sohai
最sohai的是一个朋友，名字我就不提啦，不过他姓ong的。
妈的，不懂他是来帮我还是来害我，我给他什么做，他就问回我什么
搞到好像我一个人solo酱…真的失眠啊！
希望下个sem可以换一换和那些厉害的人一team lo

然后就是我的老婆你们阿嫂，和家人去欧洲旅行wor...11天，抛下我独守空房……
以前顾着忙，都不知道原来老婆不在，我是整身都不自在啊～～老婆快快回来～～TNT

好啦，到重头戏了。
我生平最讨厌什么

1.自杀，尤其是那些唯恐天下不乱，要严重到在facebook招摇的人
2.用LIKE来挽回或追求一段关系

先说第一个……aiks……alwiss kwong o??很不巧我有一个兄弟叫Alex kwong
同姓，不过我的兄弟却坚强很多。
看报纸都知道吧？一个22岁学员生为情所困，一是看不开
piplaik，香jor……
我很不爽，因为他很丢脸。
22岁人，爸爸妈妈都还没孝顺到就跑去死
整个sohai酱……22岁人，不会用那个脑去想的meh?!以为上网倒数很yeng?!为情所困去死很yeng?
最过分的是居然有人公开表明说支持他。说什么值得同情啊，要为他祷告啊，RIP一路顺风啊。
lol， bull shit la

自杀的人是糟蹋生命……
没有理由我们要为他哀悼祷告之类的……也没有必要可怜他……
因为我们可怜了，祷告了，证明我们认同他的举止
也就等于间接性的认同了自杀这种行为……后果是很严重的
难保以后的人不会有样学样……因为它被大众认为是一种对的行为。

然后这个是我在他的note给的 comment

sohai, 自杀已经很傻了，但是原因居然是因为一个女人。好心，如果你是12岁，我不怪你，你有没有想想，22岁人，就要学院毕业，出来做工孝顺父母，却因为一个女人跑去自杀。

22岁人，这样不成熟啊？你妈妈拿条命跟死神搏，痛到要生要死生你出来，养了你22年，因为一个外人，完全没有血缘关系的人跑去自杀，很yeng meh?!
自杀还要放上facebook给全世界人看，很yeng meh?!
一点也不yeng!!!一点也不值得同情！！！
......你无视你父母的养育之恩，你无视所有人对你的关心
一点也不值得同情！！！
你死后一定会下地狱！！！
自杀，放弃大好前途，漠视父母养育之恩的愚者！！
送你一句！！

HAM 7 LA!!!SOHAI!!!! PUIII!!! lapsap..

什么？！ 我看到有人说
“谁说世界上没有好男人”
自杀，不尊重生命的人是好男人？
让前女友愧疚众生的是好男人？
让爸爸妈妈伤心一辈子的人是好男人？！
...
我
PUII!!!

自杀的人，连受到安息的资格也没有，因为他没有珍惜神赐予的生命。

过后来讲我的兄弟……两夫妻吵架几正常呢？
不过我认为没有必要用别人的LIKE来证明他多爱你啊
因为我认为没有意思咯……爱就爱啊，不爱就不爱，管我们什么事情？LIKE多你就爱多一点？
好像有点好笑咯……哈哈不过不用进啦，身为朋友兄弟，当然希望你们在一起咯……
哈哈哈

完

最近迷上了两首歌...
月光石
初音 - i wanna be your world
两首都是日本歌...
虽然我不知道她在 "ngap mat",也不知道歌词...
不过我认为, 从曲子, 旋律...往往更能将歌的情感传达给每一个听众...
这两首歌...完完全全将温暖, 人与人之间的疏离与矛盾
直接传达到我的心中.......


我身边的确是有一些人, 他们听歌时只听歌词...
相对的, 他们对日本歌也是有一定的偏见...
总是因为不知道歌词就批评说 "不好听的啦!"
这些人因为语言的偏见, 斩断了他们与曲子,音乐的联系...
我个人认为, 他们根本没有资格欣赏音乐

我很容易被一些事情, 甚至是一首歌, 一部电影给感动
我就是这样感性的人...


在早几个星期之前, 我发现了, 一个很渺小, 却对我造成很大影响的一句话
我们, 都能把 任 何 事 情, 分享给身边每一个人, 唯独是 "感觉" 没有办法被分享...

我不知道啦...

its now 11 pm for this Saturday...I'ma totally exhausted
i went centre to buy some ingredient for our dinner...then went to visit waibin at his workplace OLD TOWN...and so on...
u know what? i told my mum imma gonna dye my hair TODAY, immediately!
However it was abandoned cause of some SOHAI ^^ phang XXX XXX
he keep telling me "dont la sohai dont la, wait ur hair longer 1st la!!! "
okay then...he was successfully persuaded me, i will continue my plan after a couple months...

Now, i wanna listed out WTF i want!!!
1. Car
- i need a car so that i can travel to school, to friend's house or even to WET without bringing incovenience to my "driver"...sometimes, they even show u some " face color" =,=

2. Laptop
- im now using a laptop but, its not mine but my mum's, so i cant really drag it anywhere out from my house...and it is kinda boring if u are having a cup of coffee, without a laptop in a cafeteria like old town, or starbucks...

3. New mobilephone
- im now using a "dontknow WTF berry"...its a pirate cellphone from blackberry from china, and its waibin's 1 , not mine, i dont own any fuckin cellphone now...so i need it, ASAP...

4. Better Sound System
- i went to Phang XXX XXX house and had a touch on his fuckin boombox, omg that was awesome...so...i wanna have 1 as well... u_u

ok la, sleep liao....1130 liao...nitez...==

原本想说最近尽量不打blog……不过我真的有一点点受不了……

我和她吵了一下【其实是两天】……老实说，我还不是很懂到底发生什么事情……
她很奇怪的。一是可以很好没有问题。但是一瞬间，自己想多了，就emo……
是啦，人是可以因为想太多，一下子emo的啦。不过……对我来说，她太快了咯……
完全没有前兆，原本在电话谈到笑到肚子痛，转过头关电话就马上，听着哦，是马上emo哦！
讲emo就emo，然后就会问爱不爱我过后就会问我要不要分手……
同样的事情是发生了好几次……
我明明很爱她啊，虽然没有常常想念她，但总是把她挂在嘴边…
她却没有办法理解…常因为一点小事质疑我不爱她。
我怕我真的有一天会厌倦……不过可能这个是报应啦……

报应一个一个来了……

我是不知道啦……我觉得最近身边的人都很陌生……我发现到我和大家有那么一点点的不一样……
so far除了林子威，我找不到真的知道我在想什么的人……
我所感受到的东西，别人都感受不到……我喜欢的东西，别人都接受不到……

我没有办法理解……
为什么这么好的东西，这么温暖的东西，这么触碰人心的东西，他们居然感受不到？
为什么还没有了解它，这么快便拒绝了？
为什么为什么……







我怕我会疯掉……

【我在发泄，乱乱讲话……】

just received a request from my dance club senior Alex Nvs that whether i wanna perform for the next event in January...and my answer is yes...

u know what, i love dancing although i don't really have the talent in it, but i love dancing especially popping, nothing could be better then moving, popping your body along with the rhythm and tempo of the song!!! seriously when u dance, u feel the freedom...as well as drawing...^^ aiya i also dont know what im talking = =

hey man i miss my lastime punye body shape neh~now fat fat, dance also like shit== no buddy will look at meT,T

post for 25

today WAS a fuckin great day since I'd done my presentation, and to me, it is a perfect presentation in 5 minute of my life.Eventhough im not that good enough, but i'd throw all my heart and blood in it, I'm satisfied. ^^

and today, is yuen keii's bufday...soo pity that having to birthday during the exam huh??haha hopefully i can attend ur celebration la...^^ btw sang yat fai lok!!!

However, the cheeriness should stop at the moment.
everything turn up side down once i get into room...i heard something from my bro which is the phrases i dislike the most
"i don't want to live in a mountains on RUBBISH..."
in the past few weeks, I'd forgotten wtf they were arguing with, i mean my bro and dad were in 1 side and going against me la...
but as what i remember is, something ridiculous was spamming out from their fucking mouth
dad:"Hai yan lai de zhe ge...mei you yong liao de, fei wu lai de"
【all the bad terms in chinese or cantonese was continually comin out from his mouth】
bro:"yea la, i tahan very long ad, useless and hopeless liao de la him"
【i tell u, my bro was treating me so fuckin nice before it】
【 but at that moment, i realized its all illusion】
【he is pretending all the time...although i don't know wtfuckin purpose he is havin】

so now let me conclude all the fuckin bullshit stuff they said is~
im totally useless and hopeless at all, i have to stress the word USELESS

im OK with this word actually, it suits me a lot...
i was lying to myself all the time that im not useless as i did lastime, i'd grown [i guess]
in UTAR, i pay so much effort on doing all the presentations, assignments, all i want to do is get their recognize, however i realized, its just not enough...i fed up on telling them im useful, because its just not enough...im totally "tak boleh pakai" to them...a fucking failure under the comparison with the other 2 kids of him...
NO MATTER HOW WELL I'VE DONE, AS LONG AS MY ROOM IS MESSY, I WILL BE CLASSIFIED INTO A VEYR VERY USELESS CATEGORY...

My stuff is messy, i admit that im useless also la...i dont even manage my books, papers baik baik...im enjoy living sleeping in this fuckin mess SO WHAT!!!
I respect u alot ad right? i never ever say that ur things is RUBBISH!!
yea imma rubbish, but my stuff NOT AT ALL!!! they have their own meaning to me!!
u can disrespect to me, but to my drawings or comic, u are not forgivable at all...
u dont have the right to say that im show no respect to u, please think of what u hv done to me NOW

before this, i was passin through some of those, who used to be my best friends' facebook pages...im not gonna mention about them...im wondering why the relationship will turn into this awkward condition, from brotherhood, to strangers that won't even make a greet to me...
yea i might know the truth, it might because of, i was betrayed them from their trustfulness and not just once....or other reasons...im just hidin myself from it, all i know is im so unforgivable...
how many years, i dint reli look into their eyes...
each time i feel resentful and jealous, when im lookin in their photo...they were laughing amusedly...without me...

我知道现在完全不是打blog的时间，因为现在是十一点== 明天还有8点的课，marketing 的tutorial question 都还没有做== 一直在看不良仔与眼镜妹……

之前好好的One Piece海贼王的blog skin居然这样就坏了==，没有变，我就先用bleach的顶一下，很难看我知道，我尽早换掉它==

神志不清的帖子【要睡了～】

现在是凌晨3时，我刚刚才完成明天要交的功课。其内容是不用长尺，画线画满四张A3纸。我一下子chiong完，手现在要断了><。 已经到了开学的第二个星期，没有什么不习惯的。除了那个让人不快的母狗外，我和大家都合得来^^

然后我开始了第一页的漫画哦！！想知道关于我这漫画的内容就留言吧～找时间我跟你说。^^不过我光是画了一页就花了2小时思考每一格分镜，很头痛～画漫画不简单哦～哈哈 【其实没有必要花这么长时间，只是我想把最好的呈现出来。如果我做的草率一点，窝小时大概画了十页吧？哈哈】

性平赔回了我哥哥的耳机～我不用被ngam了～不过幸运的是，我哥哥居然给我用～哈哈 很好，带去上课^^
我换了部落皮～是海盗王的，好看吗？哈哈，我的playlist那边也是很多很好听的歌哦～如果你喜欢的也请你留言吧～ 【老是期待有人留言……哈哈我的blog好想死……】

然后哦～我今晚很不习惯的是，我拿起电话的瞬间，我发觉到我生命少了什么，好像很严重的东西。【很夸张哦，还用生命leh~哈哈不过不无道理，因为是关于老婆的～】 就在我努力思索少了什么的时候，我听到这首歌～ 回家都會看到我的妻子在裝死
老婆的声音立刻出现！哈哈，原来啊～那个baby怕kacau到我，不像以前一样Send一堆SMS给我了。
以前啊，一起床，或者忙完了，看一看电话都会有老婆的信息。都是二位数的。
有时候看到会有点想说，“有没有哦……”。不过阅读内容，觉得老婆笨笨的，哈哈。
不过现在熬夜看不到老婆一堆一堆的信息，感觉怪怪的～

可能一些事情，总是在你生命里出现，你才认为是理所当然，也不会意识到自己已经慢慢依赖了它。直到它消失了才会觉得浑身不对劲。
好像你妈妈整天叫你早点睡，你都不管
好像你老师整天叫你做功课，你都不管
好像你爸爸整天钓鱼给你吃，你都不管
好像你老妈每天煮好晚饭等你回来，你都在外面和朋友吃了
好像你的老公老婆整天说我爱你，所有所有……等等等等
每天都会出现在你生命的人事物，慢慢的，你依赖了，你拒绝了，你认为是理所当然了。他们都会消失……
尤其是你爸爸妈妈……不要整天陪朋友……趁他们还没走，陪他们多一点。就算被骂也没关系，生气就好，不要恨，因为他是你的长辈，带你来世界的人。

不懂做么Leh~突然讲爸爸妈妈……原本是在讲老婆的～哈哈。不过也是的啦，最近那些人也是没有脑的，整天在facebook说我要搬出去啊～我宁愿没有你这个爸爸妈妈啊～整个Sohai酱……都不想想，只有你一个人在受气meh，你爸爸妈妈没有在受你的气？你好意思哦？生你的人还要受你的气？你欠了人家一条命啊，给人家骂两下，把两巴，打两棍，不能当作是还债？而且爸爸妈妈打人也不是没有原因的咯，你身上一定是有一些问题人家才会这样对你的吗。还有还有……很多很多……aiks我都没有力打了……
我不是在那些充满爱～的家庭长大的，很多冲突，状况我都遇过【所谓状况不指家破人亡的悲剧】，我都能讲啊，算啦…怎样都是你爸妈，十多年里东西给你玩，买东西给你吃，买衣服给你穿的人……为什么那些Sohai不能leh?我不信他们的家庭悲剧有几悲咯。

i wanted to paticipate a comic drawing competition which is organized by a Taiwan company...but i m currently facing a...Quite major crisis that, i will be late to my Bachelor degree...
i failed 2 subject in the previous final exam, 1stly it's maths, which is expected to be failed...although im doin well in every tutorial questions and past year questions...2ndly is Sociology, this 1 is totally out of my expectation, it was the only subject that i pay sooo much effort on it...
when i get this result...i feel so disappointed even until today...and my CGPA is still under 2.0...which means that i have to pay 3 times better effort then the previous trimester so only i can get a higher CGPA, or else i will not able to get into the fxxkin degree...
when these things is runnin through my mind, im stressed up so damn badly and im soo damn lost now...

[besides, there was a BITCH, i don't know her, even her name...she came and asked my name, and she tells me that she never fail her sociology...i cant figure out what was her purpose on doing these to me...but she wont be any better because she Failed her ENGLISH and she is english educated...what a shame...]

currently listening to Namewee's new song
我还是我
it makes me feel soooo emo weii, i like this kinda song...STRONGLY RECOMMANDED!!!!
hahax

is there any back up plan ? just in case i fall from here...
【我不是读书人】

i had been complained that my blog ain't looks like a blog, its more like a report...lols...actually i was thinkin that way as well...hehe, so i think start from now on , i will try not to emphasize the Scenario la~but more on my feelings hehe...

ok la, then the 1st thing i would like to share to u guys is...That sohai SingPing spoilt my Sony Gear head phone..[m soo sorry about my rudeness but i really cant find any better words to describe him...]
for those who are quite close with this guy, u should know rite??this guy, he has a very bad habit, only if u are a male, he will ALWAYS "liu" ur areola mammae...also known as 奶头. Unfortnately my head phone's wire was somewhere beside it, so he "liu" with strength and pull...meanwhile, i heard that my head phone was stop functioning and there was a "pak lak" sound...FUXK! he tear out the wire from the head phone and it looks like wireless head phone now == !!! eh bro i know its cheap, but u dont have to do it like this rite??? TuT...however...he is gonna pay me back with a much more expensive's head phone to penance his SINS~

Ok, secondly is, guys [and gurls] , the thing im gonna share now , i hope that u will be sincerely listen to it, especially for those who always waiting for bus at bus stop...it's for ur own safety...i saw it with my own eyes.
Waibin , Singping , HuiXian , BoonKit and i were in midvalley for the film Resident Evil, after we finished, we traveled back by bus. Because we are livin in different area, so the bus we sit and different la, i seperate with them after their bus arrived, and i was still waiting for my U73...meanwhile, there is a motorbike with two malay passenger passing through the bus stop slowly, and the engine is loud also, it makes me felt that they are coming with rantankerous...but i din't bother about it and keep waiting my bus.
U73 arrived, i walked in, and sat at the last row. Then now the ridiculous thing happens. the 2 malay guy stop their vehicles, the behind 1 came down , and the driver was pointing some 1, and the 1 who been pointed was lookin innocent. Then the 1 who came down walked towards the guy which the driver pointed to, he rise his hand, wanted to do something!!! then the bus drove away...
Eventhough i din't really see what was happen in the end, but we already know...
so...beware of it especially girls, don't wait for bus alone...find a guy , strong 1, to protect u, dont find those weak weak 1...hehe..ok! thatz all for today~~

LM GANG

Ok its me over here again... ^^
well i have just finished celebrating my birthday with LM Gang few days ago, i wanted to blog but it was a little too rush since i was goin back to Kedah by the next day...so i will write a post about my birthday celebration 1st la!

Well, they have planned to gather in Midvalley at 11am. However i was late about half hour...Guys, i know you might "beh song" me, but no choice...who asked me to become the Host of the day?!wakaka!!

Ok lets talk about our dressing
wenqi yuenkei junlok kev Kitzai, they were casual but lookin nice
Baby and chai li, semi-formal...Suit them! its their style!!princess styles~
Lastly, WaiBin and i...we were totally FORMAL man!!!
i wondering why i like to wear formal recently...even some of you might think that it doesn't look good at all...

so next is the programme list~
well after the late attending of waibin and i, we splited into 2 groups which is baby and i will go for movie and others will go shoppin!
We have bought the 11:45am's ticket for "Step up 3" without a D...
but no matter it is a D or not, the film is Still AWESOMEE!!!!
it burns my dancin spirit once again~ every movement in the movie is making me BOILED!!i can even feel that my muscle was bursting and poppin that time...it is sooo cool man...a pretty cool film man...im strongly recommand u guys to watch...hehe

Well after watchin Step up 3, baby and i were slackin around the Gardens, and have our sweet sweet moment~and we went Borders...a book store...omg i like there very much~ there is soo quiet and full of the smells of books... there is also a starbucks inside with a great view~
to me, it is a paradise to relax...i like to go to those quiet place recently, and im wondering why...==

after we get into REDBOX, they 1st gave me the presentS -- a secret box, and a album which recorded all the memories and wishes inside...even though its all under my expectation, but im still moved by them...deeply....TnT
then i Rapped a song of Eminem which is quite popular recently, the "Love the way you lie", the start of rappin is still ok...but i was too concentrate on my meal...so i dint really rap it well in the end
i swear!!nextime~i will be rappin every song of eminem man~~im practising it now!!! hahah~
However...after we sing an hour something, the atmosphere was become cold...
see, we have 3 pairs of couple and 3 single kaki...and the 3 pairs of couple were kissing all the day...aiks...really sorry for the inconvenience to those single who were sitting beside us...

First Round...ended up with a photo taking season~we have taken alotza photo, u may visit my facebook and have a look ^^

Then we start our second round after wenqi yuenkeii kahyuet were left, we went to Coffee Bean and jackey Alex tsewoh yaoann came and joined us...we were havin a tea time with a cup of expresso...Mean while we unveiled the box that they have given in the K room just now which i have forgotten to unveil that time
It is a Medal written there "Best Brother Award", and a pack of condom, mint somemore...==
i don't think i gonna use it within this few years!!and i guess it will be expired when i really wanna use it...however...thanks for ur presents and ur mind...^^

Then we lepak inside the Midvalley again...until my bro come and fetch me...mean while we recorded alotza video!!! u may visit waibin's facebook and take a look....sibeh funny i tell u!!!haha
then then then~~~
this is the most memorable part of the night , and it's also the 1st time i experience it in my entire life~
all the shops closed at 9:30, and we were still walkin inside~ that was creepy when u are walkin in an empty shopping mall, it makes me feels like in a horror movie man~~however it was exciting~
then the reflective glass mirror, we can see ourselves clearly with it...guess what we gonna do next? after the effect of the movie step up 3, we all affected and we were DANCING!!!tse woh breaking, and i popping~ haha~!! it really feels good!!! haha...i never dance in the middle path of the shopping mall before!! it really boiled up my dancin spirit man!!! haha!!!

from 930, we dance until 11 something..its pretty late ad...then we go home luu~~
unfortunately there is some members missing that day...
so thatz all for my birthday celebration with LM Gang..^^ gonna blog something soon about the journey of Kedah!!haha ^^

不打英文，我英文很烂，我的人也很烂……
今天超emo的……
在这一个sem，我最担心的就是那个mathematics for social science..
因为它似难非难……似易非易……所以我基本上都没有什么听课。
加上我的lecturer的英文 sibeh broken weii，每次上课，不是想睡就是bek chek...
结果我这个SEM的FINAL，今天就考这科……
eh你懂吗？如果这个SEM fail 了的话，就留给下一个SEM，下一个SEM就PEK Chek辽==
不过不用紧！LimBeh早在之前通宵了两个晚上，什么pastyear question, tutorial question统统做完【也没有做完啦……只是大多数的咯】。
基本上都没什么睡到啦……一直到今天早上还有能力教人。
结果？考卷一看……Gan NIN N*ang……WTF....
做什么和我之前做的练习，好像很大出入这样？
结果四题……我只会一题……【我不知道啦，可能是我不够用力读咯】
很担心啊……不知道下一个SEM要retake多少科……一想到就……
想补眠都补不到啊...==

然后，就是明天见家长的事情……就在这么重要关头……我和月吵架了……
我知道她认为是我的错啦，不过……aiks，这个很麻烦，要知道的人去MSN nudge我啦，我讲。

然后十一号Art Club有jamuan，我答应了他们很久说我会去的咯……
不过突然间我家里杀出一个消息，就是我们一家要回吉打住几天哦……刚好就撞到这一天
我也不是说要退掉我爸爸那边的啦，我想趁他们还在，多陪他们一点……
可是我答应了朋友……aiks...
去朋友那里，他们又说我不孝顺；跟家人，我又难做人……

然后又和林子威说要参加一个台湾的漫画比赛，还说在sem break要做好准备，不过一想到sem break只有12天，我的心情又低落了……很多东西都不能做……
我心情低落就算了，可是我的sem break时间短，也会被人家讨厌，真的有点，匪夷所思哦？哈哈

好啦，list了近来关于活动与人际的烦恼。好像好了一点
【我知道对某某人而言，我的烦恼算不上是烦恼……我只是喘不过气，来抒发抒发罢了】
【不要想要zat我啊。】

最后
然后最近啊，就在电视，电台，报张，网路都有流传的种族极端言论，好像在蠢蠢欲动的说……
如果这个时候发生什么屠杀事件……我就……

最近，街道上，网路内，我们都能感受到，一股浓厚的火药味在蔓延。
自Sohai校长 Siti Insah的事件之后，外面的种族主义者有增加的趋势。
很久以前小弟就有“长大后，有能力了就离开马来西亚”的想法。
可是要离开一片原本养育你的土地，谈何容易？
对，一个行李箱，一个机票，在国外已经有一份稳定的收入，要离开并不困难。
我的“谈何容易”是指，你要因为第三者的破坏，而离开一个充满回忆的地方，原本属于你的土地……一个充满你，和家人，朋友的地方……
离开以后，尽管你完全适应当地的生活，可是，那一片土地再也没有你的足迹……

我爱这片土地，因为在这里充满了我的回忆，我的朋友，我的家人，甚至是我的敌人。
因为这里有我“曾经活着”的证据。我认为像这样，才是真正的属于你的地方。

可是我所珍爱的土地，并没有想象中的完美。
在朝执政的党派把华人视为二等公民，无视我们华人的感受，剥夺我们华人的权利
http://www.youtube.com/user/dapkl
我都懒惰打了，要知道更多就去看看上面的link，倪可敏的讲座。他说的，代表了我们马来西亚华人的心声。

untitled again

OK Guys is me over here again...Now, is already the fxxkn last week of this sem, which means the fxxkn Final Exam of Sem 1 is around the fxxkn corner.
However, i still cant figure the fxxk out why im still here with my fxxkn FACEBOOK!!! i should be with my fxxkn text book now... u_u feel fxxkingly guilty at this moment la weii , any medicine can cure me from fxxkn addiction of facebook??

Sorry for the fxxk word...i've gone sohai ad...

The song of my blog "love the way you lie" by Eminem ft. Rihanna, I will gone extremely EMO no matter how many times I listen to it... A lot of thoughts will go through my mind, all those bad memories that I used to forget...
Something actually happened during last night's pasar malam, it makes me truely down... and when i pass by the pirate CD store beside the pasar malam, the song was played.... it makes my mood worst...

5 years, I have been trying my best to hide myself from the fact that, I'm a son of a deputy headmistress...
I don't feel happy at all, but guilty on being a son of deputy headmistress...
It might be a good thing for those who are talented or good in studies, since teachers will praise you and say"哇～不愧是老师的儿子～" and it will make your mom proud.
In common sense, a son of a teacher must always perform well in studies right?
However, the treatment will totally change when the same condition appeared at a lazy, useless or a mediocre student...and fortunately, I'm the one...
I was sensitive when people talk about my mum is a deputy headmistress, since most of them dont say good thing about it... all they will be sure is to say "你妈妈做么会有你这样的儿子"
.....
I dont get it. I will be the only one that get scolded extremely bad when I've done something wrong, is it because of my mum? Is it just because I wasn't as good as other teacher's son performed? I dont feel good... and I dont have much friend, because of my mum again...
Everyday, again and again, people will pay more attention on those bad things I did, and they will not notice other good things I did, then scold me with the same sentence...
Finally I've gone through my dark primary days. And I decided to downplay the fact from others during my secondary life, yet I was still sensitive with that sentence.

Until today, I had successfully enter a university, and I did very well in every task of my coursework. I dont think people will ever say such words to me again. In fact, I'll make my mom feel proud of me.
HOWEVER, no matter how good I've done, it is not enough... because my friend, which consider as a close friend of mine, she said the same thing to me, same words, with same tone. I ain't gonna mention her name here, it doesn't important...
It might be a fact... I'm still a shame of my mum... I'm a failure...

Finally, i went through the most difficult time in my Sem 1...i left the one and only presentation for Critical thinking on Friday, but no worries since i had memorise all my speech last week... ^^

i discovered a quite emo but attractive song from youtube, i not sure when does it published, it seems like an old song...but somehow, no matter how an "old" song izit, at least it's mean new to me ^^
here is the link Arigatou-Kokia[ click here to listen ty~~]
[you may leave your comment in my cbox thr about this song...hehehe]

what else i can do online without facebook?

a short post for today, thanks for reading ^^

My blog seems so dead, izit i not that famous enough? or just my blog ain't attractive at all? whatever is it...i not interested with it at all...

Finally got my Sociology presentation finished! can have some rest finally~

we work 6 people a group, AKU, Chong LianG Wei, Toh Wei Xien, Kok Mei Yee, Lance Chia Ing Kiong, Sim Ven Huei....and spent 3 days to settle down all the things...be honest, it's pretty tough and tiring==

Lecturer actually gave us 2 weeks for preparation, but mean while there is another 2 more assignment which is pretty close to submission date

i was fxxkingly busy and lack of sleep recently! [forgive my rudeness weii...]

However, it's worth in the end for spending so much effort on it

gosh you will never know how suprize and touched i was...

Ms Samantha say Well done and Very Good for our present!!!

she never say this to the previous 2 groups...

After She leaves, we took some Stupiak Pic hehe..u may also see these pic by visit my facebook

so for next week,wednesday-midterm test of English, friday-3th test of maths of social science...

aiks!!!

13 more hours to my test 2 of Maths for social science...
nothing much to say, still suffering with those undone assignments...

The blog of Yuet and i has publish to 2 lucky bird...any more??please leave me the addreas in the cbox...

Besides that, i also changed the songs of my blog, lols you guys may listen to it if you are free ^^ its all my favorite songs of eminem

lai laii laiiii

It's 6 in the morning, i awoke at 4.30 and feel like doing some assignment but lols, failure due to addiction of Facebook, once again ><>
the following is my..................
Critical thinking have 2 assignments, 1st assignment's submission is around the corner and it's still undone ><, and the 2nd assignment is rawr!!!! [xiao ad]
Sociology...i think my question will be giving tomorrow...
English have a SPEAKING assignment, lols as u guys know, i have no confident on speaking in english, it's pressuring me!!!
Maths of social science, test to is friday, which means i have only 2 days to do revision...
However, it's actually 1 day for me to do revision of maths because i have to spend 1 night to finish my Design class's homework 1st...><


Jie just bought jay chow's new album [ofcause not pirate cd from pasarmalam la] , i opened and listen to it during the stupiak traffic jam...it's sooo NICE and impressive , im here STRONGLY recommand u guys must have a try on it , especially 说了再见，好久不见 and 跨时代 as well . In fact jaychow's voice is addictive also ^^ hehe...

Besides, is there any vistors in my blog? if there is, please reply to my cbox, my blog seems so dead >< , i know i was kinda lazy to update last time...

Announcement~

i Just Updated the another blog of KahYuet and i, and changed the blogskins...
it was private blog, and only for me and kahyuet to view it...
but i was thinkin , it is kinda dead that a blog without reader, so i decided to publish to some of my friends, especially closer friends such as LM gang ^^
so if u are interested to view OUR blog, remember to PM me and leave ur addreas ^^ thx for cooperation

it's a post few weeks after my midterm test...lets talk about my sociology midterm test...
lols due to A LOTza reasons and excuses, i didn't really fully read through and understand 5 chapter of it, so , i wrote crap on it as what my wife always did in her exam [she is Form 4 ^^]...
the paper ll be giving back on next thursday...but i not interested in my result cause i knew it's sucks...however i ll put much effort on the next semester to avoid this kinda thing happen on me again...

Besides , i wanted to present some of my personal opinion about my Design Fundamental class...
i think Most of my classmate would have a common feelings that, WE ARE always lack of sleep for those TONS of homework before the submission deadline!!!!
Its nothing to do with LAST MINIT Habit, its just hard to do...like this 1, i didn't spent few nights to finish it...if u think its eazy, u will do it for me next time then...

Let see what i going to busy with after this week....
1. Critical Thinking Assignment... [i dont even have a touch on it!!! and the submission is next week!!]
2. Maths for social Science 2nd test .....[i don't understand the whole chapter 3&4, any 1 willing to be my tutor?]
3. Sociology Presentation...[i think its still have few weeks to the submission date, no worries]
4.Design Fundamental Assignment & homework....[homework of this week is something similar with architecture...draw buildings/room decoration]

lols....aiks...stay strong!!! there is still alotza coursemate busying with me!!! we must tahan!!!

busy busy

lols what i wanna shout today is...im sooo busy lately, with assignments, practical, and revision for tutorial class
[it isn't necessary, just i don't want to attend the tutorial class with empty mind every day]...
but im not complaining anything of cause, in fact im enjoy being in a busy life like this...
i feels much worth if compare with my past...
but in fact , time is always not enough to use...

new stage of life

it has been a long time i didn't update my blog since the last post until now...i think its about 2 months...hehe...i have to make an apologize for those blog walker who always passby or visit my blog, because u wasted few second of ur life on viewing this dead and rotten blog...

So what i busying within this few months, it just makes me feels like im getting nearer to the stage of adults...
First of all, i attended a driving lisence's test and i passed it as without a hitch...i was sooo happy and proud of myself once i get the P lisence, the feels is totally different when u look at other people get their lisence...but its just my personal opinion la...i know some of u might langsung bo rasa de...><...hehe but get lisence also no use...since my dad don't allowed me to drive...lols...he is stubborn, but there is nothing i can do...

After that, is...i think most of my friend already know that i register to UTAR, and...yeap, i already start my first trimester in UTAR...and this is week 5...well im doing fine in here, and im enjoy my UNI life since i know a lot of new friends here, most of them aren't local people...i mean from KL la...hehe and i also enjoy the subject im studying such as Sociology , Critical thinking and so on la, lazy to list them out...hehe, but Sociology and Critical thinking are the subject that i like THE MOST!! haha, because by studying these, it also ll lead ur mind, ur attitude into a wider states or boundary, i mean it makes u mature...

this is my daily schedule....
24 hours a day
usually i ll be wake up at 6
leave the house at 7 to stay away from the taffic jam...
reach UTAR at 8 then start study...study study study...
finish class at 4;
when i get back home its already 5
6 finish bathing and my dinner as well
7-9 free time~~normally i ll draw something or just slack on facebook
take 1 hour on doing revision to what i've learned in class...
then peii my dear "Boil the phone porridge"...hehe
12, SLEEP!!!
So how do u feel with my daily life??busy am i? haha

Besides, since this is already week 5 of my trimester, of cause there ll be a tons of assignment/homeworks appear in front of me...i might spend my sleepy weekend on them...><

And and...long time dint contact Christopher Hoe[this 1 normal ad...], lohwaibin, melvinPang, bryanlee, alexkwong, liewjunlok , ong boonkit, tan yee heng and all my gang in kuchai lama[sorry for those who never listed...]...im so miss u all and the day we slack in kuchai!!!gonna ask u all come pj yamcha some day..hahaha!!!!

ok its now 2 am...gtg to dream wonderland ad...bb~~~

大家好，又是我在说废话的时候了……

这两天，如果你看到我在笑，不要怀疑，我笑了。
但这绝对不是发自内心的笑容。

近几天心情真的非常差……
有一句话说得很对
“如果一个人太空闲，就会胡思乱想。尤其是过去的伤口……”
无可否认，在开学之前，我的行程表都被打机填满了……

我喜欢打机，不是因为我没有用。
因为只有打机，画画，才能让我从乌烟瘴气的现实中抽离……
我讨厌每天翻开报纸就看到罪案发生……
我讨厌每天起身都得满怀压力的去面对那老头……
我更讨厌单独一个人……

就在昨天晚上，我沉沦在过去的伤口中……
真的好难受…好内疚……

欲知更多详情，请留言～

关于上一篇贴纸……

认真的读一遍我写的东西，我发现到脏话的出现率逐渐频繁……
不认识我的人铁定会认为我是一个缺乏耐性与教养的人…
所以我对那些被我脏话污染了双眼的人，献上万二分的道歉……
尽管如此，还是没有任何方式能比脏话更能突出我的心情。

现在是凌晨5点，我睡不着，今天除了在宝贝的电话里，我没有笑过。
在两年前，我在旧的部落格写过我，对这个家的感觉，心疼与心碎的感觉。
有人批判，有人同情。
批判我的，是那些即将被父母的爱溺毙的，被宠坏的孩子
同情我的，是那些陪我过日子的兄弟
了解我的，没有……

今晚的宁静，带我回到小时候，一个人的宁静……

http://0123-abcdefg.spaces.live.com/
三年前的blog!!!刚才找到的!!!

这个部落格已经没用了，三-四年没更新，也不会再被我打开，所以有意见就留在这里吧
还有，有很多事年幼无知所写下的，不要笑我！！

昨天很开心，跟伟斌两个ma mat lou看电影，然后我，信平，伟斌，就在midvalley血拼，我花了差不多一百多块咯……还用信平的手机拍了很多照片，下次才upload……
然后晚上shabu-shabu，跟SheePhing, Jeffery, ZaxLim, Alex, 信平，伟斌，我，庆祝melvin生日……吃了好多……还很热闹的说。之后一起走路去Fishnet上一下网，就闪回了……

今天早上就中了，mahai sohai老豆，给人生diao死啦，自己这样厉害自己做啦。有事情就搭肩膀说thankyou，拜托 啦，没事的时候就赶我走，说我留在家没有用啦，gan lin na，因为一包饭跟我翻脸啊？！ma ga hai，不用你说，你不是第一个说我没用的人，很多人都看不起我的啦，从街头到结尾都是啊。是，对，我没用，我什么lan都不7懂，我还很犯贱啊，我没用，惨的过我喜欢。怎样？来啦打死我啦。我留在家没有用，你叫我做什么我都不做，我也不会拜托你什么lan，反正从小时候你对我的恩就只是帮我洗衣，在我去学校，养我，没有你的分，吊我，只有你的份……现在我连出门，宁愿走路走到中暑都不给你载啊。每天要打死我啦，最好就打死我，以后看谁死先，niahai....

昨天开开心心，威风熠熠，今天？！都是因为你翻开我的旧伤口。

dear对不起，我今天心情真的很差……

我刚到家，现在是凌晨2时……记得老婆说过要早点回家……
不好意思，因为驾车的不是我，所以我真的是尽能力催促我朋友早点回了…对不起… u_u
今天约了alex, jun weng, boon kit and @#$%^&*#$%^&* 一伙人 【不记得名字】……
在学校外的麻麻喝茶。顺便进了学校看看老婆……xD。过后不用问，我们就是去打机了……

老婆真的越来越有住家女人的味道了～


讲到这里，我对lee jun weng 李俊荣 有点意见。内容不雅，你能skip掉^^
【mahai...有时真的给脸Alex我才跟你笑嘻嘻，你以为你是bin 9 gor？】
【玩dota的款macam yes，得空就diao这个diao那个。你没帮忙什么的我都没给你意见啦】
【我喜欢怎样玩就怎样玩，你理得我会不会用？你这样厉害，一个人控制5台电脑啊】
【赢得时候就lan 7 c，输的时候？"leave game la"】
【还有，你那句什么垃圾没资格讲话？跟我多lan野？】
【你够大把东西不如我，我有diao你什么没有】

孤独墓碑……

清明节。对我而言，是一个极为陌生的节日与词汇。
我对清明节的认识模糊非常，即使你不断的灌输我，它是一个祭拜先人的节日。
因为我本身一次也没有，为先人扫墓的经验。
今天是我第一次跟随父母到不远的坟山，为爷爷扫墓……

我睡眼惺忪。看来是因为昨晚因上网也迟迟未能入眠的关系……
车后座除了我，还有不少给爷爷的“礼物”。我无视，看着窗外嘀嗒嘀嗒的雨滴。
父亲驾驶在繁忙的公路上，让我不经意的认为路途还遥远。
毕竟坟山应该是在比较偏僻的地方吧？可是这坟山并不偏僻，就坐落在某个繁忙市区的旁边。
多么不起眼，规模却非常庞大的坟山，就坐落在我面前……
坟墓堆满山上，远处看就像是仙人掌……

如果坟山是先人最后的安息之地，那么今天也未免太不吵了吧……车鸣声，爆竹声，此起彼落，不断在山中徘徊，人潮，车辆，充满整片坟地。
据母亲所言，该坟山的情况的确改善了不少，从道路设施，到环境整洁……小时候父母不允许我们来，可能是因为当时环境恶劣吧？据说是荆棘烂泥满地，荒草重生，阴深可怕的地方……

开门下车，能感受到空气多么的潮湿。刚才下过雨
一个个看似已经多年没人打扫过的碑坟和我察身而过。
名字，照片已经模糊不成形，被长长野草包围。
我站在他们“身边”，面对眼前一个个被祭拜的墓碑。
冷清的祭拜也好，高调的放炮也罢。
也许我不能体会，却能理解，他要得只不过是看看就没见面的至亲，只不过是不想被遗忘……
墓碑旁，画下了两行泪水……

践踏着潮湿的草地，越过一个个多年没人拜祭的墓碑。我来到了爷爷的墓碑前。
编号1585，我爷爷林鸿逢。我和他素未谋面，也没有听说过什么关于他的生平事迹。
在墓碑前，我什么感觉也没有。接着父亲开始和爷爷对话。即使只是单方面的。
父亲向爷爷报告着家里发生过的事情，态度谦卑，虽然面带笑容却语气沉重。
自我出娘胎，从来没见过父亲敬畏一个人的模样。他一直是一个因为小事大动干戈的人。
此时此刻，我开始对这素未谋面的爷爷产生了好奇心。
他究竟是一个怎么样的人，竟然能让我父亲放下自负的自己，对他如此谦卑？

换作是我，往后我会抱着怎样的心情来祭拜我现在，还在生的父母亲呢？
无时无刻都在帮助，为儿女着想，朝夕相对的父母亲啊，如果有朝一日，你们消失了，不动了，我们会抱着怎样的心情和态度去面对呢？我是否能像父亲面对爷爷一样，将心中的伤感深深压抑着呢？
想着想着，又湿了眼眶……是我太过感性么？
如果是正在阅读的你，你会抱着怎么样的心情去面对你父母的消失？少了他们的叮咛，少了他们的唠叨，少了他们的客厅，少了他们的厨房，少了他们的旅行，少了他们的车子……少了他们的晚餐……

掌机佬最后一日

今天是我再kuchai lama X5最后一天工作的日子……
打从开工到放工都满怀期待，精神奕奕的！我工作以来从来没这么兴奋过。

我最后一天，来farewell的人不多…至少不是岚茂的人…
光仔，阿兴，sunny loh，阿源……多谢今天的陪伴^^否则我的最后一天则毫无意义。
繁忙的日子在不远的将来等候，今日一别x5，不知何时能再见，但和诸位的回忆，小生铭记于心…
哪怕是不起眼的我…

现在是凌晨1点有余，刚和老婆通完电话，哄到她睡觉了^^[好有成就感的说着……]
我可没有打算这么早睡呢，好难得恢复自由身，当然要好好体验一番以前彻夜不眠的生活咯！！
相对矛盾的是，我面对着电脑，也没有什么事情能做…大概只有像现在一样，怡然自得的在打部落吧？
部落也曾经是我打发时间重要的一环呢！

这个月开始我考驾照，估计在开学之前，我就有“能力”自己驾驶去上学了吧？
姐姐还说搭巴士上课，我才不要和外劳/印度/马来人同坐……认识我的人都了解到我是一个相当厌恶与黑皮人齐聚一堂的吧？
[上等例外：我是指那些看起来面目可憎，像是做完所有犯罪的人。他们都将罪恶之容貌随身携带]

迫不期待，我那即将到来的新生活！UTAR here i come!!!

i sensed that im going to mix in with a bunch of banana in my college life...="=

一个月??

好久没update我的blog了^^
离上次更新应该有一个月了吧？

首先需要报告的是，本人将于这个月尾离职x5的工作……
然后，如无意外，我入学UTAR开始我另一个原次的新生活

x5工作的这段日子，我认识了很多，虽然看似不良，心地却不坏的青少年们……
他们不但陪伴我走过无数个寂寞的十二小时，也为我寂寞的十二小时画上色彩缤纷的生活……
从前只要想到工作就会浑身疲累，但这次不一样，和他们打机，成为我上班最原始的动力^^
ah hing, kok kwong, chee hou, ah win, 伟健 ,ah dong , proka, sunny, 阿源,阿康,苏牙老,ah jun, raja,ice baba, steven , alfred,seng gor...[说漏的，请原谅我，虽知我记性不好^^]
没有岚茂帮的日子，全靠你们的陪伴,以后还会再见面吧？
在下次见面前，要努力活下去阿^^

说到岚茂帮，似乎是年头开始，大家因为工作关系，几乎抽不出空闲来相聚……
但有时，一放假还是不遗余力的去喝酒^^，因为我们相聚的日子可是非常珍贵的^^
经过漫长岁月，当然还是会有人改变咯……当中少不了christpher咯……
不知道为什么，和他少了一种“一起sohai”的感觉……
这种感觉很重要！不容小看！
因为当你和一个人有了“一起sohai”的习惯和感觉，就代表那段不是普通的友谊…
虽知不是每个人都愿意一起sohai的…
[sohai的定义 = 做一些出乎意料丢脸的事情让身边的人开怀大笑，而不是惹人厌恶的恶作剧哦！]
不过他会变得这样也情有可原，毕竟他接触的，着重的，放任感情的生活圈子已经不属于岚茂了……

翻外篇！我的facebook遭删除了！我收到六封警告信，说我的发言具有恐吓性什么的，被人report了T^T
克乌塔！！！xD，我的照片，我的游戏等级，全部消失了T^T……

就这样咯……下个月就会知道我是否会被UTAR录取了，一旦被录取……我又会展开一段繁忙的新生活了^^
为我祈祷吧！

不知不觉我已经在 Kuchai Lama X5工作将近一个月了……
这个是我唯一一份，早上起床，不会抱怨睡眠不足而不上班的工作……
工作量不大，还有免费用电脑。我很享受这份工作……
当然我并不打算长期做下去，我不认为一个月一千五百的工作能养得活我[ 和老婆 ]。
哈哈

在这里我认识了很多新朋友，新事物，更丰富的Dota经验……哈哈。
和他们相比我简直微不足道……

X5总共有73架电脑……
但是有25台电脑已经报销……
冷气楼上楼下一共6台，坏剩下4台……
还有就是滑鼠，耳机被盗…顾客经常会向我投诉…
网卡游戏完全没更新……顾客常玩的游戏都少不了Frozen throne……xD。
另外有我喜欢的就是，我们X5有360度环绕网卡的amplifier…
全网卡的人都被迫听我爱听的歌…哈哈。


开始工作后就没时间做以前一直做的事情了……
和朋友闲逛，打机，聚餐，上风筝山看日落，去waibin家遛狗……
上班一族养活自己的同时，往往会斩断“败家子”生活方式的牵绊……“玩乐的同伴”

有时间，我一定会找“岚茂帮”的各位聚餐！！

以下是我一些“无主题”的照片。

全马第18家分店……X5 [交叉五……]

“工作室”

顾客另一消遣……买水……

记录表……工作麻烦的一环

通往楼上的楼梯，非常窄小……我却能行动自如
多么了不起……X mark的机，多么？
我们的package……xD我最喜欢RM10

其实我的工作没什么忙碌……所以我有时间就拿来画画……
我画的劣作……><

阔别了。我完美，无遗憾的新年回乡之旅！

吉打双溪大年[Kedah Sg. Petani]
我母亲的家乡，我儿时的回忆……

去年不算的话，距离上次我回到乡下应该是7，8年前的事情了……
当时我还是一个肥仔…肥肥白白的哦！哈哈哈
而且去年也是来去匆匆，根本没时间，兴趣去体会，回忆往日的味道与温暖……

这次我们一家在舅舅家[昔日的外婆家]逗留了5天…有足够的时间让我回味当年…
能用以形容我当时之心情的词汇，大概只有“感叹岁月”吧。
从前认为一望无际的田园，如今走完还花不上一份力气。
从前果园阴凉，如今炎热似火，没一处乘凉之地。
从前总是因古旧的装潢而抱怨，但随着经济状况进步，室内装潢变得新颖…我却怀念儿时的霉味…对我而言，那个是应该存在，不得消失的味道…
从前新年，全马各地的亲戚都汇齐聚在这个客厅，看着外婆因百子千孙，儿女皆出人头地而感叹且满足的微笑。
自外婆逝世，如今新年气氛经以不如往日般……
少了当初那份温暖，那份齐聚一堂的新年气氛。

在年轻一辈的笑声中，我发现了，大家都遗忘了渐渐消失的老一辈……
包括自己的父母。我们一天天长大，他们便一天天接近死亡，接近于至亲，朋友分离的时刻…
然后回轮到我们做角色调换，一天天老去，看着从前玩伴老死而畜手无策。活在年轻一辈的笑声中，从事实麻醉自己。
“新年”对我而言，不就是人在有生之年，相聚的日子么？

我有一个表弟，他和两位兄长们宁可留在吉隆坡，都不愿意陪伴母亲，也就是我阿姨回乡过新年；我另一个阿姨，虽然不清楚事实，但她正苦苦等待一个儿子的归来，从初一到初二，初二到初三，一个人坐在家里等……
看见两位长辈谈起自己孩子时，眼中与红丝，眼泪蔓延的寂寞……嘴角在发抖，苦苦忍耐心中涌出的惆怅……
我无法想象他们当时的心情……一个年迈，似乎时日无多的母亲，无法得到儿女的陪伴度过人生最后几次的新年，他们的心情……应该不是一般年轻人能理解的吧？即使不能理解，也能想象吧？
长辈都说我会想，尤其是这两个从小看到我大的阿姨。但是扪心自问，我真的那么会想么？还是说，理解长辈的心情是我们年轻一辈的责任？



我真的希望我身边的朋友，如果情况不算非常恶劣，请别随随便便抱怨父母对你的态度……
用不老套的想法说 “希望不会太迟……”

几乎一个月没碰过我的部落格了……也没什么事情想报告……
就


新年快乐

AIKS!! 逼于无奈，我还是“捞”回waiter这一行……不过幸运的是我找上了一家台湾公司，就连那家店的负责人--阿江，也不会讲英文，满口台湾腔。可是却能说出比我更流利的道地广东话…哈哈，牛啊！以后又能用广东话招待客人了！
那家餐馆虽说是台湾在马来西亚的分公司，但却没有英文名，它叫“Taipei Walker”。[译为“台北行者”]

明天大老板会亲自来选员工，我对自己的表现可是信心饱满的，那“捞”了3年的服务员工作经验不是白干的……哈哈……
JunLok就糟糕了，据说因为经常打破东西而被老板打入“冷宫”，只被允许一个星期工作两天……被迫换一份新工作。我早说过那个“K3K”不知所谓的啦……诸多规矩，尖酸刻薄，工资还出其不意的低！JunLok作出了民智的选择。

我到底怎么了呢？我在12点睡着了，可是1点又弹起身上网，精神奕奕的……

金矿！！！ [ 近况啦…… ]

这个部落皮不好啊……字体不能太大，不然会走样……好过分！马上就换一个了！敬请期待！

最近才发现，原来我身边的朋友里面，1月生日的人数居然这么多！可是“本月大牌”莫过于我的老婆咯~~哈哈。遗憾的是，我似乎没有办法再像以前一样，聚集大家，替大家举办一个有意思的庆祝会……

今天是我form 5班级的聚会……可惜，这并不是大家所期待的，但也尽在大家预料之内…大家四分五裂，甚至分开桌子，各有各的谈。很没意思……

在华人社群而言，只要人数一多的地方就会开始分裂……

很好，我至今仍是一个无业游民…

终于放下心头大石，感觉如释重负……我和老婆又和好…但至于感情是进步或退步就不得而知了……
我的部落格在渐渐不受瞩目的情况下，宣告私人化，如今能看到这帖子的人大概只有一个人吧？被私人化的部落格，除了让我感到像一个人自言自语，还多了一份安全感……比我无聊的人比比皆是，我真得不能想象有什么不喜欢我的人会阅读我的部落，然后恶言重伤。

很好，我至今仍是一个无业游民…一个人坐在电脑前面到凌晨……现在五点了……很好……

金钱压力

最近真的有一点点压力……虽然暂时没有任何学校能向我施压，可是周遭还是被无形的压力围绕着……对大家来说，我所谓的“压力”可能算不上是什么，我只是借由部落来释压，所以请保持“纯粹读者”的角度阅读 [即使没有人阅读 lol，我的部落不出名，我知道的]……

最近爸爸一直塞钱给我，一天甚至能拿好几百块钱，但是我不开心，因为这笔钱是需要“理所当然”的代价……
爸爸：“不用紧你拿去，出粮的时候给回我双倍就好了。”。
walau，理所当然拉，他养我的……可是我仍然是一个手无寸金的孩子，这个担子会不会大了一点？

我要一笔钱……
我要换脚车 [他们口口声声说载我，可是有人证物证，证明我这十多天都是步行，在sripetaling, kuchailama徘徊……他们还说脚车危险，所以不肯出钱给我修理……伪君子……要知道在热烈太阳下暴晒不是件容易的事情……更何况是长达好几小时的步行……lol]

我要换电话 [和我亲的人都知道我用着3310。抱歉，对我而言，手机绝对不只是方便通讯这么肤浅的功能，没有了照相功能，遇到值得纪念的东西就不能拍下留念；没有MP3功能，心情不好的时候就没得听歌；没有记忆卡，就不能放一堆好歌！…所以3310一定要离开我…]

我要换我家里的电脑 [用了6年没修理过的电脑，已经接近大限了！我也没有办法忍受一个没有电脑的家！救命啊！]

我要还至少六百令吉给我爸爸 [以他的个性……我不给回他真地会被打到半死……他是第一个不遵守九出十三归铁则的大耳隆……如果他对你的好时候目的的话，跟这种父亲实在相处不易]

我要存钱考车 [因为没有多余的车给我架，他们以“考了都没有车给你”的借口不让我考车……虽知以后考车更艰难了……得赶快解决，等不及他们出一辆车了……]

我要更多的钱来消遣！ [我是大花童……穷人的日子，我过不下去了……= =]

你看以上，介是社会，家庭，金钱给我的压力啊……可是面试了这么多次！我还没找到工作！你说怎么可能没有压力！l o l！

另外还有一个非常让我头痛的人际关系……我真的无计可施……很多时候我都无法忍受，她那让我感到是一种无理取闹的牢骚，即使我是有错，但是……我不知道怎么继续……lol。
我有尽量迁就你，我可以为了你放掉分秒必争的一天，可是如果你“完全”不能体谅我，请离开我……即使在舍不得我也是这么说……

可遇不可求，打不落心情

PS[不好意思]，最近好懒惰更新部落……一想到打字就累了，所以还是等到有心情才打……[我想这种心情可遇不可求，可是等上好些日子才有这种心情的……XD]

新年到数完了…那个晚上还不算难忘……就很普通的放烟花，玩雪花。我的帮却一点气氛也没有……
当然我也不起劲，因为一路上太多马来人了，全部都面目可憎。可能你会说我种族歧视，但是如果你在场我相信你也一定像我一样浑身不自在，更何况我是遭“马来人”毒手4次的受害者，这一点点地提防之心是不可能没有的……

还有，一月一号下午，我的一帮朋友又遭马来人毒手，被盗窃了一部手提电脑，几部手机及上百令吉的钞票，一共损失了愈5,500++令吉的财产……
早前，我又有朋友的车在雨天被马来人偷去了……

别说我身上发生了4宗对社会而言微不足道的抢劫案，早在我身边就有好多人被马来人打抢过，如果将他们遇劫的次数加起来，我想应该不少过30宗。而抢劫案更是日日上报……
试问一个经常发生盗劫，抢劫问题这么严重的国度，还有面目荣称自己国家的破案率“高”吗？我倒是认为比起犯罪率，这些所谓的破案率只不过是小巫见大巫罢了……

马来人啊，你们什么时候才肯清醒？什么时候才不向我们下毒手，什么时候才向我们华人学习？为什么一定要打抢来维持你们“良好”的形象？
我想以后有马来人聚集的地方，都不可能看得见我的踪影……

来我们转换一下心情，今天是第一天开学。可是我并没感到太特别，就好像我还过着逃课的日子似的……
看见老婆……还是一样没变……大家还是老样子，对这阔别两个月的再重逢，我一点感触也没有……哈哈。

倒是从今以后要努力工作，在SPM成绩出炉之前，我要Pump一部电脑，一台手机，还有一个驾照……这是我今年的梦想 [上半部]